Trapped

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Kobra
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Posts: 254
Joined: Mon May 31, 2004 9:46 am

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Post by Kobra »

Trapped
I didn't use the word 'trapped' at all in this poem.. But that is exactly how I felt

Where were you
When I needed to see you?
Dates missed
Promises you didn't see through
When I needed to talk
You were never around
Too busy spreading lies
And putting me down
And still I came back
Again and again
You were always an abuser
Never a friend
You checked up on me
As if I was a child
And I fell for it every time
I was in denial
Never again
Will I be abused
I've grown stronger
And I'm over you
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Tami
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Post by Tami »

well done Kobra /biggrin.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':D' />

the strength you speak of having found shows in your words. keep writing, I would like to see more from you /smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />
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[color=\"#41211C\"]It takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it

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Shydragonchic
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Post by Shydragonchic »

Good job, simple words, but arranged in a way that made me FEEL what you were saying. It brings out the starkness of the emotion being expressed /good.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='(Y)' />
More please.
Brock
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Post by Brock »

Encore Encore !!
Vercz
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Post by Vercz »

thats very good kobra, maybe just add some grammer into it /blum.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':P' /> ..yanno, full stops..commas..semi colons..the usual poetry stuff /bigwink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=';)' /> ..just breaks it up a bit, other than that its great /good.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='(Y)' />
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